Sadness & Gratitude & Basketball

I was sitting in the airport, reading a few different articles about Coach K’s last game to pass the time. At some point, I started tearing up. I wasn’t sure why.

I’ve always been a Duke fan. My dad went there for his PhD. Many of his closest friends lived there so even though we lived in Chicago, we would go to Durham pretty much every year.

Through those visits, Duke became my team. Everyone else hated them where I grew up. That made me love them more.

In 1990, Duke lost by 30 in the NCAA finals. I was 8 years old and devastated. I told my parents I didn’t want to go to school the next day because everyone would make fun of me. My parents comforted me. The next morning they also informed me that I wouldn’t be wearing my uniform to school that day. Instead, I’d wear a Duke shirt. Many years later I learned that Coach K did the same thing with his own daughter.

In 1992 we played Kentucky in the tournament. It’s widely recognized as the greatest college basketball game of all time. All you need to know is that I had a $2 bet with my uncle on the game. With 2.1 seconds left, Duke was down 103-102 on a back breaking shot from Kentucky. It looked grim. My uncle told me that we could switch and he would take Duke. I said no. We won 104-103. I’ve always been proud of my 10 year old self for that.

Apparently, the first thing Coach K said when the team sulked back to the huddle for the time-out after the Kentucky shot to put them ahead was, “We’re going to win.”

He believed in them more than they believed in themselves. He gave them courage. And he had so much credibility with them that they believed him when they probably shouldn’t have.

I think about that when my kids are worried about something. I think about it when anyone I believe in is down. I try to give them my own version of “We’re going to win.”

I mentioned that my Dad went to Duke. I didn’t mention that my wife did too. That’s where we met. My brother is a doctor at Duke hospital. Many of my best friends are Dukies. My kids insist on sleeping in Duke shirts.

My earliest childhood memories are watching Duke basketball with my parents and my brother. 30+ years later, Avani and I sit with our boys and watch the games while I text my brother and friends incessantly.

How many things can bring you closer to your parents, your brother, your wife, your friends and your kids at the same time?

That’s where the tears come from. Duke basketball is a ritual that I share with a lot of people I love. I’m sad this chapter is ending. But I know that sadness only comes because this chapter has been so good.

Thank you for doing it the right way, Coach. Thank you for always earning our loyalty.

And more than that, thanks for making all of this happen, Pops.